Call the innanet ACS

WTF? I've been neglectful as hell.

Damn.

Love

I sit and wonder.

Where is the love?

No really.

Where is it? I've had countless discussions about it...so I decided to write based on what I've been told and my thoughts and feelings.


What happened to the desire for deep intimacy? Are we a society doomed to accept the "baby mamas" and the "homieloverfriends" mentally? Please don’t get it confused or misconscued, you could be in a long term relationship and still be only "homieloverfriends" at the very core (but I’ll get into that a little later). However, I believe that society has kind of given up on the whole fairy tale ending.

Listen to this joint. It explains how I feel in well, words (and sounds)



From a young, tender, stupid age I thought about what it means to love and be IN love. What it was like to make love. I mean, who thinks about that stuff at twelve? I always knew when two people were in love so to speak. Take Sierra Leonean culture for instance. You know that two people were in love if you saw them eating rice from the same plate. You may be reading this and say well, my girl/guy and I eat from the same plate...

Shaddup, stupid. It’s a cultural thing.

Nonetheless, I have always been fascinated with the emotions that supposedly come with being in love. Butterflies in the stomach? Increased heartrate? Vomiting at the mere sight of that person like Stan does every time he sees Wendy on South Park? All could apply, I suppose. I just want to know for sure.

These thoughts and feelings have not quite gone away. I’ve always considered myself to be a deeply sensual and romantic person. Lately however, I can’t help but wonder if people such as me are becoming an anomaly? Are we a dying breed?

I sit and wonder.

Where is the love?

Like most people in 2010 who want answers to thought-provoking, burning questions...I headed to the innanets. Based on my trusty google research, I found that a majority of so-called experts believed that true, deep love is based on elements such as compatibility, commitment, and passion. I could try to analyze these elements, but it would be preaching to the choir (or rather, preaching to the orchestra at Lincoln Center while locked in a broom closet).

Here is what I think:

I think that there is no concrete way to define love. There are different kinds of love that exist. Platonic love, love between your closest friends, love that family (should) have for one another, love for your career, I could go on and on. It is one of the most subjective (if not THE most subjective) topic there is. I will say that I strongly believe that (romantic) love at this core is well, a feeling. You just know. If you think there is potential it WON’T take long to know either. Those who argue this are simply lying to themselves. It doesn’t require sitting around wondering whether or not you are there. You don’t need to shop for opinions and a diagnosis. No one on the outside can tell if you are in love with someone. You just know. Is there a window of opportunity? On a forum that I frequent, the consensus seemed to be that there isnt-there shouldn’t be a time frame. I can get down with that somewhat. I don’t know about ya’ll, but if I were in an exclusive relationship for quite some time and my s/o didn't know whether or not they were in love with me, I’d feel some type of way-especially if I could say for sure that I was in love with them. After a period of time, if you have to wonder whether or not you are in love with your man/your girl chances are you probably aren't. Now please understand, people can be married for decades and fall out of love. Look at the Gores (although as Janet Jackson said in Why Did I Get Married Too, I think they should "fix it! fix it!") As unfortunate of a circumstance this is, it happens. Lets be clear though. You may not know the words but after a certain period of time your actions begin to speak more and more for you. Don't let it get to this point. It doesn’t matter what you say, your peoples say, what the fam says, what anyone says. Actions do a better job at answering questions than words could ever do which especially rings true when it comes to being "in love." This is where the "homieloverfriend" comes into play.

Now if you listen to R.Kelly, a homieloverfriends is not much more than a jumpoff, lacking a title. Why listen to him though? Musical genius he may be, but Aristotle he ain’t. A "homieloverfriend" can be your significant other, and 99% of the time, it ain’t a good thing either.

The other kind of homieloverfriend is like that pair of jeans or a pair of sneakers you liked and knew you wanted to buy. Looks nice, it fits, and everything is cool. Unfortunately, you notice that even though its still pretty cool, after a while it doesn’t fit as nicely as it did before. Doesn’t look quite the same. Doesn’t have that same shine...its just different. You find yourself squeezing into it. You still appreciate it and its still nice so you keep it hoping that it will fit like it once did. Maybe it will-but at what point in time do you realize that maybe it just isn’t meant to? How do you let go? I guess this is where you try to distinct between platonic love and romantic love. Platonic love is so beautiful in a friendship (bromance, besties, etc.). In a relationship however...



A lot of relationships end bitterly and/or with one person being devastated. Real talk though, this can be avoided if we listened to Kenny Rogers (know when to hold em'...know when to fold em'...)

So what the hell? Just reading I have more questions than when I first started! Perhaps that is what I get for speaking on something I've never quite experienced. Guess Janet was right "that’s the way love goes."

Seriously though. I do know this. It is important to establish the kind of love you have in your life. If you don't have a sense a sense of platonic love, love from family and friends, your career, etc. How would you know how to handle being "in love?" I think I have done a good job of this. I have love for my career, my family, and my friends. It is a beautiful thing. If you have this you are more than blessed. However it is my strong belief that everyone needs romantic, deep, love in their lives. I won't die without it, but it sure would be nice. I would never rob myself or another of that opportunity. Shame its so hard to find.


Where is the love?

I sit and wonder.

Words and sounds

Ever heard a song that just explains everything you may be feeling at the moment?

Take Care by Janet Jackson.

It is just speaking.to.me.

I suppose that is what I get for being celibate. Oy.

Feelings.

(Just a lil' throwback random ramblin')

Feelings.

This post is about feelings.


Yes, feelings. We all feel sometimes, whether it is joy, extreme sadness, anger, or even indifference. It is human nature to feel. Of course, no one wants to be taken advantage of, as many people have no qualms about playing with these very emotions that makes us all human. As you may have realized by now, I am referring to matters of the heart. Some of us choose to take their chances in hopes of finding someone who will handle their heart with care. People may brush our actions off as foolishness because this does indeed leave ourselves susceptible to hurt and pain.

On the other side of the spectrum however, there are those who choose to built a wall, a shield, or fort if you will. Used as a faux means of protection. A preventive measure in not getting "caught up" as our generation likes to say. The vast majority of these people like to "do them" so to speak. A world where sexuality is the ideal substitute for everything and emotions are null and void so "being hurt" is not a possiblility.

Hmmm....

I find this interesting because in the end, living this way would cause nothing but hurt, because you are living a lie. Yeah, I said it...living a lie. Yes, you may get all the nice, casual, no strings attached sex that a man or women could possibly yearn for and for now you may be content with it... but you know what...that shit will eventually get old and unfulfilling. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even five years from now...but eventually, it will. And by that time, when that nice fort you built comes under attack, no one will be there to save you from that emotional jail...because in order to save you, one would have to know you. To truly know you not only in the biblical sense, but to know your hurt, your sadness, your past, your desires...the list goes on and on. As long as you submerge yourself in this parallel universe, it is impossible for someone to give you the orgasm of the mind as well as the body.

Like I stated before, some people take their chances with matters of the heart and that may be brushed off as foolishness...and you know what? I am one of those people. Call me stupid if you will, but at least I can go to sleep at night knowing that when someone is ready to love me, they don't have to struggle with breaking that wall. Not everyone is strong enough to break that wall (even the person who built it), and even if they were...they might not think its worth it to spend that energy.

Think twice before thinking you can't let your feelings be known, because not everyone is out there to hurt you. They just might be more interested in healing you.

You should know this song.

VH1 Soul saves the day once again. Fucking excellent all around.

(Click the link for the whole song...after the jump)

Love That Girl - Raphael Saadiq



You're welcome.

Raw deal.

As soon as I saw the commercial advertising the $5.99 deal at Popeyes, I knew there were gonna be problems. Blackpeople love Popeyes.

So naturally, as I am driving home from work yesterday I see the drive thru line at Popeyes go into the middle of the street. I should have taken a picture. I've never seen such a long ass line for some damn fast food chicken. All over NY the lines were busting through the doors.

That was tame compared to this: Behold the "Fried Chicken Fracas"




Nice. Well, you know they say about black people and chicken.

Just some watermelon and Red Kool aid and we're good to go!

I fucks with their Chicken bowl though.

Nasty grind indeed...

Whats wrong with this video? Scroll down and you'll know the answer.

I don't know what is worse.

This video in general, or the fact that I know the song in the background.

And yes, clearly another woman is filming and lovin' it (not that there is anything wrong with that of course).